Between 3 and 4 children are abused or neglected every hour of every day in the US. Most often children are abused by the people they love and trust most – their parents or guardians. We see children like Matthew every day at Pendleton Place.
Matthew
Matthew was a curious and intelligent 10 year-old boy. He was always asking questions, trying to learn new things and figure out how the world around him worked. His parents had little patience with him, and although he had no significant behavior problems, Matthew often found himself being punished in unimaginable ways. His father routinely disciplined him by placing tacks in the bottoms of his shoes and making him hold heavy containers of water at his sides. He was forced to stand for hours at a time, trying desperately to stay on his tiptoes and avoid the pain of crashing into the tacks. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to maintain that position, and would fall onto the tacks over and over again. This was just one of many instances of abuse in Matthew’s life. He was physically abused on a routine basis. If he talked too much, played too loudly, or did anything his parents found a nuisance, he was punished violently with fists and belts.
After confiding his abusive situation in a local store clerk, Matthew was removed from his home by law enforcement and SC DSS and brought to Pendleton Place. When they picked him up, he still had tacks embedded in the soles of his feet. He came to us feeling anxious and lonely, worried about what would happen to him and his little sister that came with him. He was also worried for the parents he loved so much, but who had hurt him so badly. We gave him all of the basic necessities – food, clothing, shelter, and medical care. And more than anything, we made sure he felt safe.
Our staff were immediately concerned with his emotional well-being. We learned from DSS that Matthew’s teachers had reported that the once outgoing and energetic child they adored had grown quiet and introverted in recent weeks, no doubt due to the abuse he suffered. At Pendleton Place, he was always well-behaved and polite with our staff and the other children. But his quiet politeness masked a terrible inner turmoil. Matthew had endured more than any child should bear. He never learned ways to cope with his pain and emotional hurt. Within the first week that Matthew was at Pendleton Place, we discovered that he was a self-injurer (or “cutter”). Whenever he became frustrated with himself or made a mistake, such as spill food at the dinner table or make an error on his homework, Matthew would try to escape to cut or injure himself. He often commented to our staff that he was a 'bad'child and we worked diligently to show him how completely wrong he was.
While at Pendleton Place, our priority was to make sure that Matthew felt safe, while he received counseling to deal with his abuse. Our partnership with the Department of Mental Health, along with our own on-site pediatricians, allowed Matthew the opportunity to begin the path to healing. Instead of hurting himself, we helped teach Matthew how to journal his feelings, or express himself through artwork. We worked with him to improve his self-esteem through recreational activities. Our tutors helped empower Matthew through learning and completing his schoolwork.
Matthew was at Pendleton Place for almost 4 months. By the time DSS was able to place him in a foster home, he was well on his way towards healing and a new future. He had blossomed into an outgoing and creative child, and learned how to write his emotions on paper instead of taking them out on his body. His school grades had improved, and his teachers told us he was performing better than most of the other students in his class. We were so proud of him! While were were sad to see Matthew leave, we were excited by his progress and the exciting new future he had waiting for him.